Back in January, I posted to several groups and forums and posting areas that I participate in, telling folks I’d written a book that was a coming-out and coming-of-age story about growing up genderqueer, and asking for advance readers.
I just recently got a series of emails from one of those people who, having found time to read my book, sent me thoughtful comments and feedback.
The following are comments from five consecutive emails. The only editing I’ve done is to omit a sentence or two that were on another related topic.
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I’m reading your book now. I must say it’s a very interesting unorthodox Bildungsroman, and there should be more of these around, so that those who feel queer could suffer less, knowing that not all people are squareminded!
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I’m half way through it now and I felt very very identified with your accounts of your childhood. I was regarded as a weirdo myself due to my adherence to the adult world and to the dogmatism inherent to it, which I had absorbed and I applied in my behaviour and relationships. That wasn’t very wise, but I was young and I couldn’t have known better… As a result I was abused for years by my peers, even when my peers changed through the years! But I managed, just as you did, and after acute suffering and suicidal tendencies, I overcame their criticisms and kept on being faithful to who I am.
Other weirdos around me tried to mingle and be a mimicry of “normality”; my sister, for instance. But she grew up to became suicidal in her adult life. Thus, we can consider ourselves lucky!
As your narration sounded so familiar to my ears, I was thinking to myself “why does this guy consider himself queer? his life is like mine” – that is, it’s normal from my point of view -. Now I am reading the part in which the protagonist is having some sex both with a boy and a girl – non penetrative yet – and I remember when I had a girl friend I loved so much that I would have gone to bed with her – although it didn’t happen -. ;-:-D
My step daughter/son aged nearly 14 is transgender, and s/he has gone through some shit already, although I think s/he is clear in her/his mind about stuff. Book like yours are very necessary, you know…
… Now I’ll keep on reading, I’m wondering what is happening next with this guy…
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Hey, the colonel in page 150 is a tough one, I love him! 😀 Resembles some gay friend of mine…
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Your book was great, I enjoyed it a lot. I loved the last part of it, when Derek investigates and tries to be himself despite everything. When he wears the wraparound skirt it reminds me of myself on the day I got rid of bullies. I was wearing a wig and acting crazy because I no longer cared, and when they learnt that they left me alone forever. And your allusions are very interesting. Conundrum has been in my list for years until I finally found that it is available in pdf in the net. It is in my to-read list.
When Derek was made to sign all those consent papers to put him in that institution I was like “DON’T!! DON’T DO IT!! THEY ARE CHEATING AND WANT TO PUT YOU AWAY!!!” I mean, really? Are we in Iran or something? God!
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Why on earth people are so influence by external stuff such as aesthetics? In Derek’s case, he is just being himself in his choice of clothes which happen to have some esoteric symbolic meaning in our society and which are so crucial in how we see ourselves or in how others do that.
In my case, after years of repression I just showed a bit of myself when I was acting crazy with that wig. It’s not that the wig had some special meaning or was any recognizable symbol for others. I think they was thought I was hopeless 😀 😀
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genderkitten 